Hammer- just wondering because it sounds like your AW is not adding a lot to the family, whether you have thought about taking the kids and leaving.
they are all being impacted, they fear her, there is anger, there are eggshells...
i have kids close to the ages of your younger 2 and they are and have been very impacted by all the things you write about your AW doing and they have not been under the same roof with their dad in over a year...
i just worry about your kids-- i wish that we as the non A parents had enough power to protect the kids from the fall out from the disease and i told myself i protected my kids from most of it but in hindsight, that was me lying to myself.
seeing how peaceful they are and i am and our home is with AH gone it makes it all the more obvious how bad it was with him there...
just wondering if you've given leaving or asking her to leave any consideration?