(((HUGS))) to you Florence. Sorry you are experiencing this setback and are feeling sad and not peaceful.
You are not a controlling ***** no matter all the ways your STBXAH makes out like you are.
I found once I stated out loud to myself to my RAH and to my therapist that I was not the b**** my RAH made me out to be I shifted in my feelings and reactions and could gain some more of my peace.