ThirdSunrise and SuperPumped, Welcome! I was where you were three months ago. I was in a complete depression and figured that letting alcohol completely consume me would be no less painful than living without it. The scale was definitely tipped in the direction of giving up.
I also thought, "Why quit? I will only relapse," as well. Believe me, I built an iron wall between me and my sobriety that neither my own mind nor the people who loved me could scale.
But guess what? I am nearly three months sober and I am so freaking glad that I gave myself the chance. I know that sounds like a bunch of sunshiney crap when you're feeling trapped and panicky and it's hard to believe it will ever be true but...it is. No, my life is not roses and I am not dancing on clouds right now---but my addictions were making everything much, much worse. And once you get through the hard part of letting go of the drink/drugs, life gets incrementally better every day. Really and truly.
You CAN do it. Read around here. There are folks here who have lost absolutely everything and still turned it around. No one here is a stranger to the feelings you're having at all and there is a ton of excellent advice so please keep posting.
When I posted three months ago saying I was considering giving up, some kind soul wrote, "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself."
So here's the same to both of you: Let us here at SR love you until you can love yourselves."
Believe me, it IS worth it.