Bitter? Party of one?
I was thinking the other day about all this. Drinking and stopping drinking. Where I have been for a decade.
When I drink I call my dealer and hope he is waiting by the phone special for me to come right over. Like a bat phone to the bat cave.
The double duty I can do on a Saturday of drinking from 11am till 3... sleep and return for the night shift.
The insane single focus and pin point accuracy of my addictions to be able to plan and execute each days growing needs.
I don't think I am any different than those who have found putting their energy into something constructive.... Like school or career. Personal pursuit be it fitness or civic mindedness.
It's just that my successes came in the form of liters and gallons. Of successfully making it back home and not peeing the bed blackout drunk. Being popular for my ability to consume and acquire.
Surly talents honed over time... Over the same time two of my friends completed school. One now a lawyer... The other a Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA).
There is not an undertone of regret now that I am sober. While I was drinking I was upset that I was where I was and they... Well everywhere I was not.
This post is to say that now sober I feel as successful as they might feel. I survived a bunch of stuff. I came out a good person with love and abilities that I use everyday to assist others. Contribute to my world around me.
There is a role for everyone. Great actors convince me of the character because they believe the role they play. I believe in my role with the lessons I have learned as much as any person playing their role. I accept it and so it's believable. Doable. Achievable.
Drunks... Addicts... Me... You... We are all success stories when we decide to be.