WTBH,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am in a similar spot right now. I just got a restraining order against my STBXAH, temporary for now but I am hoping made permanent on next Tuesday. I am happy to share what has worked for me in dealing with my situation.
First, you may see a change in his behavior now that you have the restraining order. All the court orders in the world did not seem to make a difference to my ex but as soon as the restraining order was put in place, he has all but fallen off the face of the earth. Speaking of that, go as NO CONTACT as you can. I had my attorney put in the order that he can only have peaceful contact with me, and only via email, and only if it is about the kids. Not phone no texting. If he calls for the kids, I have them answer. I had the meeting place changed to a police station in town. When these types of items are followed, your life will feel better.
For your kids, I have my older son in counseling. Not just to talk about things that have happened but to learn how to better deal with how to manage his father. How to stand up to him in a productive way. How to feel like he has some control in all of this. It has been a year but he is now making huge strides...Your kids could talk about losing friends and how to deal with it.
About the neighbors, he is in panic mode. What if you "convince" his wife that she can stand up to him also? I had many of my friends go into the same mode after I left. A therapist told me that the people in my life who do this are not in strong or healthy relationships themselves. My friends who have stayed with me will be lifelong. I know that does not make it any less heartbreaking though. Especially for your kids.....
As for moving. I am stuck where I am for now. I hope if the restraining order goes permanent that the judge will let me relocate. Especially if he moves to the town I live in, as he keeps claiming is going to. For now surround yourself with some new friends if at all possible. I enjoy knowing people who don't know all my skeletons. It has been healing to tell my story and I really believe this saved me but I like to not have that be the first thing someone asks me about. I am more than my situation.
My thoughts are with you. Here I am giving you advice sounding all sure of myself but really my stomach is a mess thinking about going to court and having to see him next week.