Dreams of Serenity- you are 100% right... Intellectually I get it... I think as insane as this sounds I am having issues not only with seeing the girls hurt and sad about suddenly losing a friend, but I am feeling embarassed/guilty/ashamed and as if I actually DID do something wrong by getting the police involved.
I have a huge need to not upset people and don't want people to be angry with me and I have already this year been through two issues with this family where xAH involved them (unbeknownst to me at the time) in "our" issues (aka he went over and hung out and spread rumors and they like everyone else in my life, believed him without once asking me if it were true).
So, pre restraining order xAH was welcome over there to be buddies with them all and I was always awkwardly received... The girls were happy to play so I tried to not care that my supposed "friend" was so fooled by xAH...
Anyway, they have shown their true colors and it is sad... the worst is that the girls will want to run between our yards as they always have and the awkwardness of that not being an option (I don't want them over there at this point at all) will suck for a while.
I guess I try even when there is obvious dysfunction, to have there be peace and to smooth things over and that's unhealthy huh?