Hi Sean
Welcome to our family.
Its nice to have you with us.
There are quite a few of us from the UK here too. I'm not far from you.
It seems like you have tried different things in the past.
I did too. I had a very expensive private counsellor and if I am truthful I got nowhere with.
I think it got to the point that I wanted to pack in drinking more than I wanted to keep drinking. I did it for no-one else but me.
I think you can go to rehab, go to AA, read about AVRT and go to SMART meetings but ultimately you have to do it yourself. No-one can do it for you.
I agree with the term 'functioning' to an extent and its how I might have described myself. Although if I am hand on heart honest, I did not function very well at all. I was just existing really. I was not enjoying life.
I think we can get very bogged down in definitions.
Am I a binge drinker, an alcoholic, an alcohol abuser, alcohol dependent etc etc.
I pondered all these labels but all the while carried on drinking creating more misery for myself and others.
Now I have come to the conclusion that alcohol makes me unhappy so I would rather not drink it. That unhappiness is/was enough for me to stop.
I don't need a label to justify my stopping drinking.
It took me a while to 'get it'.
I suppose by 'get it' I meant that if I did not drink, I would not get drunk, black out, act like an arse, feel horrific for the next few days.
I think for people who are not good with alcohol, we all have to 'get it' some time in our life.
I would rather 'get it' now than 'get it' when I am 68 years old to be honest.
If you get it now Sean when your 27 years old, it is going to save you a lot of trouble, heartache and poor health than if you 'get it' when your 60 years old.
When I started out not drinking I was very shaky, very unsure, did not know how to handle questions as to why I was not drinking. I came here everyday. I read and learnt as much about alcohol and addiction as I could.
Now I feel as strong as an ox in my commitment to not drinking.
My mental health has improved dramatically as well.. I think there is nothing worse , when you suffer from anxiety or depression, than adding alcohol to the mix.
It really is great you found us Sean and know that you can here as often as you want, post as often as you want and remember nothing you tell us will shock us (we have all probably done it too) and we understand.
Your not on your own
My best to you
xx