Thanks, I wasn't taken offense and I am appreciative of everyone who has taken time to write to me. I have a physical addiction, to codeine, but have not had that in over a month. I use my substances for a few times a month and I think that prevented a lot of the physical addiction. Except alcohol. I once used that daily for years. I think it takes a while for the physical addiction to take place with alcohol. Tomorrow, I will awaken with no crutches. I will know I won't have anything all day, generally that causes anxiety and depression. I am coming from a four day abuse of narcotics. Generally, it would be time to order kratom. I feel if I let myself, I can go into a full panic attack. It's the thought of not having my crutches that bother me. I have wanted to be miraculously freed from these substances. I need to face, I will have to go through something and be grateful not to also have the physical symptoms to deal with. Just now, my husband and I got into an argument via text and that ALWAYS sends me whatever I am taking or alcohol. I definitely need something to do during those situations. Thinking I can go get vitamins or some other kind of relaxing supplement. Anyone have any ideas? I need to have something in place when he and I argue. Listen to music and dance is one option. Any other suggestions?