It makes so much sense now! Why I sit here talking about how damaging alcohol is to me yet I can't say I'm going to stop. I can't make that decision, because my body is conditioned to have other people do stuff for me and make the decisions for me. But since no one can jump in my body and stop me from drinking, I was just waiting for someone to stop it. I kind of felt like it wasn't in my control... that I don't have control over whether I drink or not. That someone has to jump in my body and literally stop me from drinking! This is insane! I have control over my body! I make the decisions on what I want to do with my own body!!