The couples I know that go to AA and alanon, and work their programs, have the best relationships. In early recovery we're taught to be somewhat selfish. We need to be. As we grow that becomes quite the opposite. A person truly working the 12 steps actually becomes much more selfless. That is in fact what recovery is all about. It just doesn't happen overnight. Takes a whole lot of time, but time goes much faster than we ever think it will.
AA isn't the only solution, but if someone is a hopeless alcoholic, and they're willing to incorporate the steps into their lives, it's still the most successful solution. Some might argue that, but I won't argue back. It's the only thing that worked for me. Oh yeah... My wife sometimes goes to alanon, and we still love and support each other after 17 years. Our relationship is not based on selfishness. It's based on loving ourselves so we're healthy and free enough to love each other.
I highly recommend AA and Alanon, just don't expect instant results... and don't expect a whole lot if all you're doing is attending meetings. If that's the case other solutions might work better. We have to grow and change if we want our lives and relationships to do the same.