Old 05-06-2013, 07:28 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
justanothrdrunk
Retired Pro Drunk
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
FYI - my last drink was on 07/07/07.

I certainly don't have the urge to drink as I have in early sobriety. To me, that's a whole other ball game.

What I do experience, from time to time, is a sort of desire to be "normal." This manifests itself primarily by the feeling that it would be nice to have a cold beer or cocktail right now. This happened to me last evening. It was a beautiful spring day in MN. Was late afternoon. Just finished raking the yard. Kids were outside running around, playing. Wife was in the garden planting rows. And I was just sitting there in a lawn chair in the shade enjoying life.

It's not that life would have necessarily been better had I a drink. My (still) sick mind equates normalcy with alcohol. As in, normal people enjoy alcohol - if I were "normal," I too could enjoy alcohol. And there have been instances in my past (long ago past) where I would drink not to excess. So I sometimes romanticize as well.

These feelings are brief because I have taught myself to play the tape forward and know, deep down without a doubt, exactly what will happen if I attempt to enjoy that cold beer/cocktail.

Last edited by justanothrdrunk; 05-06-2013 at 07:29 AM. Reason: Grammar!
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