While I know you have your reasons for not wanting to see a Doctor, what is it that's really stopping you? I've been seeing a Psychiatrist for two years and realised my case was nothing special when he told me he's seen hundreds of young women about my age who have gone through exactly the same thing. Pride and shame are what stopped me from being honest to begin with. Doctors are bound by laws of confidentiality, unless they perceive you to be a harm to yourself or others-that's the only context in which they can breach that confidentiality. I don't mean to sound harsh, but after what you've been through, it's possible that any of the Doctors you've seen have an inkling of what's really going on. Many are fairly well-versed in addiction. Keep posting and welcome!
Xx