Thanks for the responses. I just notice people who don't seem to be obsessed with drinking. I'll see someone walking the dog at 7pm. Or doing yard work. Or out to eat, drinking ice tea. I look at them with envy, like, they don't look like they are even thinking about alcohol right then. I know that's judging people from the outside, but I just know how obsessed my life has become with alcohol. There was very little I wanted to do that didn't involve drinking. I've just forgotten what's it's like to not be an alcoholic. Like when I was younger. It just worries me that the rest of my life I'll have this dark cloud hanging over me, stuggling not to drink.