The "problem" I guess, the thing I was asking for feedback about, is that I've been sober 11 months and I'm slipping back towards suicidal ideation again. I would say that "real depression" is definitely the problem, and there is a high alcoholism/addiction and suicide rate among my siblings. So, I'm trying to come up with a plan for caring for myself, given that fancy inpatient or outpatient treatment of any sort is not an option, and I have no idea what to do for myself. I have zero support, and there is no one who is going to push me to do this if I don't do it for myself. No one. I'm not looking for a diagnosis, I am talking "who do I pick up the phone and call tomorrow to set up an appointment so that I can come up with a plan that doesn't involve buying a tank of helium? Then how do I keep it from happening the next day? Then the next?" BTW...I have no urge to drink now. None. Weird.