Keep away Pastor. By the sound of it you are a hairs breadth away from being locked up. There is no future in the path you are on. From experience, alcoholics, drinking and newly sober, are not great on feelings. For the first while I was sober I wouldn't have known an honest feeling if I fell over it.
My existence for years had been driven by the need to satisfy my basic instincts - sex, security, etc. and this wasn't fixed by just giving up drinking. I had to grow up, basically.
The worst question anyone could ask me in early sobriety was "how are you feeling". What a stupid question! I had no idea what I was feeling, but boy, I was feeling it.
Needless to say I was not in a position to form any romantic attachment with anyone, let alone another man's wife - there is only unhappiness and misery down that road.