Gottalife

Thanks Alco, I had that sort of stuff too, even a court order banning me from drinking at the age of 16. Got drunk to celebrate that one.
I fought the alcoholic label right to the end. i would rather have been a certified lunatic. But in the end it did not matter so much what I did when drinking (we all have dfferent stories on that front) it was the fact that I had lost the power of choice in drink.

When I drank I couldn't guarantee when I would stop, and when I tried to stay off the booze (I'm so ashamed I'll never drink again!) I would find myself drinking within a few hours, often without any conscious thought. Alternatively I would drink under the delusion that this time will be different - sometimes it was, but not often. It just got worse.

Once I stopped drinking for nearly three months and found I could not function. Life without booze was worse than life with it. Booze was my solution. If alcohol was the problem, then I should have got better.

So it's about control and choice.