THis is all good advice. I've realized a few important things in my own relationships with As:
People go to AA and still secretively drink (I don't know why this shocked me, but I was completely blindsided by it).
I will never know for sure how his recovery is going, what he's doing, whether he's truthful--and this is true of all people.
I can only judge the quality of our relationship by my own experience...is the behavior I experience acceptable and satisfying for ME?
"Satisfying" is a key. If someone is honest & truthful and sweet and annoys the Sh** out of me, then that's acceptable behavior, but it's not enough. There are people out there that I really enjoy. That's where I try to spend my time (of course, we are all annoying sometimes, but I get to choose how much patience I have for being unhappy).
Good luck to you!