What is it about meetings that "aren't for you?" During my first round of recovery I didn't think meetings were for me either. I would go and just sit and not take any information away from the meetings. Until I hit rock bottom recently was when I realized I needed the meetings and the social interaction and the ability to voice my problems with people that had similar problems that I did. Now I'm not saying AA meetings are the end all, be all of recovery so I was just wondering what you didn't like about meetings? I'm about as anti-social as they come and it took every ounce of my being to enter that first meeting by myself.
First off I need to start by saying that the following is not meant to be medical advice, it's merely my experience with medication. I can relate because I am on depression (citalopram 20mg) as well as anxiety medication (klonopin 1mg). I'm not so sure the citalopram works but the klonopin definitely does help. The hardest part for me at first was the finances as well. But I came to realize that the finances need to take a backseat to my sobriety. Now I'm not saying go in to a ton of debt to go to a "head doc" but if you know you need help and don't get the help, it's only going to get worse. I took that approach my first time with treatment and I ended up losing my job because of my addiction. I'm now on my second job where they luckily put me on "suspension" (without pay mind you) until I can get clean. This is my last chance or I'm going to be back with my parents...unemployed with a mortgage, car payment, school debt, etc. Personally I would rather go to AA instead of a head doc because I get the same thing out of AA that I do a head doc.
Please don't take this as a post that AA MUST be your route to go, I'm just giving my experience with the difference between AA and head docs. I don't know your experience with AA meetings, and it's definitely not for everyone.
I wish you the best!