Mag,
reading your post, thinking back to how it was for me.
how i hadn't really lost anything either. well, that's what i told myself. but this:"I've not really lost anything but respect and self esteem", when i couldn't avoid the truth of that and it hit me with full force just what a huge loss that was/is...it's as if i had pushed that away as being more or less irrelevant. as if anything/everything else is more important.
I thought I could manage a few drinks.
ah, that damn illusion that eventually we can control our drinking.
how is it going for you today, Mag?