For me, I finally realized when I continue to engage, especially when I am being manipulated (ie. claiming he heard you have a new man), I am getting "something" out of it.
Sometimes, I just missed the drama and chaos because I had become addicted to it. Finding my motives was very difficult , still is at times.
I am just speaking from my own experience. I am glad you have been able to recognize a pattern. It may not feel good now, but it will help later.
Have a great Greek Easter. I just love Greek food, lol.