Hi all, hope you're doing well! Scout, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you're doing OK under the circumstances.
Have been a bit off the radar the past week. Had a slip last Saturday and was feeling very depressed and anxious. But this morning, unlike last Sunday, I woke up without a hungover, which felt wonderful - especially considering I had dinner yesterday with a bunch of very thirsty Swedes last night...
I was a bit nervous that friends would ask why I wasn't drinking, and that they would try to convince me to drink, but was saved by the hostess of the party who served the drinks in green tinted glasses, so while they were having champagne and white wine no one could see I was having sparkling water and still water...
Also, it was nice to realise that while I felt very tense in the beginning about being social without drinking I enjoyed the conversations more and was able to relax eventually. It felt quite good to be the sober person actually, and to leave when people were starting to get drunk.
While other people might not have the same problems with alcohol that I do, it is a little sad how we rely so much on it to open up and enjoy ourselves, in Sweden at least. It is a society with so much repression, so much surface, and the contrast between the everyday Swede and the weekend Swede is so stark that none of them feels genuine. It creates a lot of tension and stress when people are being so controlled on one hand and so out of control on the other. I've had a really hard time dealing with this tension. I feel relieved to not try to escape it by drinking.
Thank you all for being so inspiring!