Thanks everyone for your support, I'm crying cos I have felt so lonely and isolated in this 'mess' . I feel like I can really turn a corner now. I'm exhausting this forum to get information and have just asked to join the 24 club thread. It's all new but I'm willing to learn. It's 3am, I'm normally awake between now and about 5 am with a hangover of sorts. Sounds awful doesn't it. How on earth did I get like this? X