A fine line between despair and ecstasy
To feel despair... For me was the skin peeling of coming down.
To feel ecstasy... For me was the rush of emotions. Yes drugs for me was emotional. Seemingly.
For this addict it was a very fine line. Crack. Cocaine. Vodka. Ecstasy. Sometimes all at once. Yes. All.
One moment was high with the next.... In Utter despair. Real despair in my mind.
How did I stop that? How did I say no? How can I ever feel far enough away?
The slight of hand. The trickery of it all. Addicts know.
I have been on SR for over a year now. It has been a savior. I love the moments when the normalcy of my life now hangs with a backdrop of chaos. It makes it all the more savory.
I am getting ready to grill veggies. Chicken and shrimp skewers. And a smile. Grin even.
I had. I lost. I have again. For this moment only. But I have.