Hi Mag,
I was sort-of in the same boat as you. Two kids, female, same age group, great job, home, etc. I was making a mess of my life privately and I was edging a point where I was going to lose something more tangible from alcohol.
I hope you know that you can do this, not just because you want to, but because you have to. AVRT is working well for me, but it really didn't click until I started examining how society views drinking as an innocuous, normal activity...only when you are actually affected by what the drug is supposed to do are you considered "out of control."
Someone on this forum recommended "Kick the Drink...Easily" by Jason Vale. It is complementary to the RR/AVRT method. It did a good job of reprogramming brainwashing that says "you can only have a good time if you are drinking...," "Adults don't drink lemonade, they drink wine," etc.
I know what it feels like to be embarrassed by The Beast. I am on day 10 and am still uncomfortable about being around someone I made a fool of myself to. Ugh. Makes me sick to think about what I said/did.
Hang in there.