Originally Posted by
redhead1982 
Its like there are 2 people fighting inside me- the one who wants to get healthy, start college in september and get a career- then the one who HAS to go and buy her wine at a certain time of the day, and just sits indoors drinking.
Been there, done that. Welcome to the wonderful world of alcohol addiction.
I hear that fight in my head, too. The part of my brain that is addicted to alcohol keeps telling the part of my brain that knows I should not drink to go get alcohol. "Just one more time" "I'll start fresh on Monday" "I'll just have 2 glasses this time" "You need to be more careful, that's all".....It's relentless.
The addicted part of my brain speaks with an Addictive Voice (AV). The AV doesn't understand anything except that it wants alcohol. It
craves alcohol. It's like a 2 year-old throwing a tantrum in my head until I give it alcohol.
Freshstart57 explains AV pretty well in this thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
You might want to give it a look. You can tell that AV, "No".
Good Luck!
