Very low about not being able to quit.......
Hi, er, new here so abit nervous in my first post. Ive been drinking wine quite heavy for over a year now- I grew up in london, and nearly 3 yrs ago my lovely dad died suddenly in his sleep, he was my world and my best friend. Myself and my brother had to sell his flat. With my share i bought a house and moved here to Ireland with my son- and my drink problem started about 5 months later. Now im drinking wine most days of the week. This is my 2nd attempt to stop after getting detox tablets from my dr and i drank 2 bottles of wine last night- i feel disgusted with myself. Its like there are 2 people fighting inside me- the one who wants to get healthy, start college in september and get a career- then the one who HAS to go and buy her wine at a certain time of the day, and just sits indoors drinking. My mum had an alcohol problem but my drinking makes hers look angelic. I also have depression, social anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder. I think alot of it comes down to lonliness if im honest. My family here have shown no interest unless its me contacting them, afew of them turned very nasty on me after my dad passing away, so im pretty much on my own here.