Never ceases to amaze me how severe alcoholism can get within one year...
Yes I have been there. I was engaged to a wonderful woman in Alanon, her mother died an alcoholic death, her father was living in a sober house but relapsing. She broke off the relationship when I entered treatment. I haven't spoke to her since and this has been many years.
I have a right to think and feel how I want, but in sobriety I choose not to contact her because it wouldn't be in the spirit of recovery, even if meant as amends. I truly think any contact with her would cause her distress.
Honestly, every time I think of her I think of the sex and that was even messed up.
Good for her -- she ran fast -- as far away from my absurd alcoholic behavior.
No person I am in a relationship has any responsibility for my sobriety.
I am not interested in rehashing any relationships with exW's, Gf's, exF. There are thousands and thousands of other healthy women that I can get involved with. I have moved on.
Since you asked, I would not contact your exF. Let her be. Deal with the feelings and get some rational thought on it. Move on with your recovery. If you live sober your future relationships will be beyond your imagination.
For today going in to next week remember HALT
Eat stay hydrated
post here -- vent
get to meetings -- spend time with recovering people doing activities
the weather is getting better so get outside
Sleep as much as you want to -- let your brain and body recuperate
Most importantly see where you can be of help through service work in helping another alcoholic to achieve sobriety -- almost a guarantee to live sober for the day.
We move on. Count our losses as blessings.
