So lost
I'm sorry in advance for the lengthy post...I just dont know where to turn or who to talk to.
My name is Kaitlyn and I'm 25. I'm one of 3 children and am the only one in my immediate family that is not an addict. My parents have both been alcoholics as well as abusers of opiates for my entire life.When I was 15 my parents separated and i lived with my mom since I had always been the closest with her. When I was 18 I was living on my own when my mothers siblings coerced her into a 90 day rehab for woman hours away from me. She was sober for 5 years and I was so proud of what an amazing person she was. Within the past 6 months my mother has relapsed. First with pain killers and now with alcohol. After being confronted she moved clear across the country near two of her sisters where I believe she thought she could escape her problems. Shes only been there for 4 months and has managed to have a complete break down...hiding her relapse...lost her job and isolating herself from everyone. I knew she was spiraling downward a while ago so I did the only thing I knew I could and that was to inform our family and lots of prayer. She's going to lose her apartment and all of her belongings and shes so depressed and strung out that she doesnt care at all. She wont talk to me and is even seeming to be angry with me for no reason. She has relayed to my sister who is also an addict that the only person she wants to talk to is my father(the man she has despised for the past 10 years unless she needs money). The night he found out about her breakdown due to a hysteric phone call from her he booked an immediate flight to see her. He has been there for 2 days now and no one will answer my calls. I just know that even though he is pretending to "save her" that he really wants to watch her crash and burn. I have a feeling that he's providing her with more pills and alcohol. I know there's nothing I can do about that because she is the only person that can make decisions for herself. Every moment I'm awake I'm suffering with such sever worry and panic. I'm so sad, disappointed and am growing inside with RAGE. I'm to the point where I've convinced myself that I dont want anything to do with my parents anymore. Apparently my mom might move back home when my dad comes back and she's asked my sister if she can stay with her. This makes me so angry as well. It's so hard to make this a short story and to also describe my feelings. My mother is and has been my rock...I feel that I still need her but I'm so mad! I dont have anyone around me with a voice of reason to talk to and its driving me mad building it all up inside. someone please help.