Hello & welcome Lastchance. I don't feel qualified to offer any advice, but I wanted to welcome you.
Please be gentle with yourself as you are in early recover. Take it an hour at a time, or a minute if need be. Focus in the positive changes you can make by this single act of not drinking. What's done is done. This may not be the end, I've heard plenty of happy ending stories, but right now is time to focus on you and only you.
Huge hug
S x