Dear wantttobehealthy, I just want to say that these articles--written by Floyd P. Garrett, M.D., were the ones that helped me the most to understand how the alcoholic mind works and how it affects their relationships with others (US).
This understanding helped me to stop personalizing and be more objective--stop blaming myself so much. I was able to start detaching and detangle myself from the craziness.
I highly recommend these articles for everyone struggling with an alcoholic or addict in their lives. They can be found by a google search--there are actually many more than two---but the ones wanttobehealthy listed are really valuable.
very sincerely, dandylion