I want to thank everyone for everything y'all have said. The kind words, the encouragement and the sobering truth. I got the call this afternoon and yes, i got (pardon the pun)...canned! Well, i'm sitting here at my AA meeting waiting for the breakout group to start. I can't think or feel my way out of this mess i've created. My husband knows and he is sad but supportive. He always is and that breaks my heart. I am an alcoholic. I am an addict. I am sneaky but i can't sneak my way into a fulfilling life. I am capable of heard work and i've done it before. I just lost my will to quit fighting. Silly, no? It will be so much simpler when i give up again. I'm tired of fighting. I have a decision to make. Sobriety or death. I won't choose death anymore. I'll be around here more again. I was better when i was among y'all. Thanks for everything again, everyone. I need all of you.