throw out the arse kikin machine! you are doing the right thing. this is how i see it:
yer lookin for prayers, so ya must believe in God.this could very well be God putting some things in your life that are gonna lead ya to things a LOT better! when one door closes, another opens as long as you have faith.
heres a suggestion for ya, and i highly suggest don it:
go look in the mirror. not at yer hair or the dust bunnies on yer sleeves; look right into your eyes ndand tell yourself you love yourself!