I can really relate to that. I had a job offer today to go up in the hills and work with a guy who is in the AA program, but smokes weed. The last time I was up there I wanted to smoke. I was practically salivating. I had to tell him no. It's not that I can't smoke, because I can. It's not that I can't drink, because I can. I choose not to today because I can't drink or smoke like other people can, and I don't want the consequences of the first one.