Bex, so many thing to say but like anything I try to make simple situations too complex. I learned that in AA!! I think you are great for taking so much time to look into this. Support from people around me really helped me in my early days of sobriety. I do attend AA and have since I got sober 8 months ago. I love it but I also attended AA for 3-4 months before I got sober. So what I am saying is that once I decided I needed help then AA started to work for me. If I am honest with myself I can admit that I am a little weak spiritually. It is an on-going process for me but AA does so much more. It keeps my mind open, I am learning humility, my communication with my wife is better, I am more tolerant, less judgmental, less angry, discuss my fears, etc... My sobriety if the effect of me making the changes in my life I needed to make and AA helped me with that. Good luck to both of you. My wife attends AlAnon once a week and it really helps her with herself.