Hi Zoid,
I can relate to the misery you are suffering, but I can only guess at why. I know one or two folks with stories like yours and there problem seems to be resistance to one or more of the steps. The AA way to recovery is to get our lives on a spiritual path through action on the steps as a way of life. How did you get on with this? Did you reach a point of agreement with the ABCs?
A) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives, B) that probably no human power could relieve our alcoholism and C) that God could and would if he were sought. Being convinced, we were at step 3. Were you convinced and did you take action?
Hopefully, these questions will help you work out what needs to be done next.