Originally Posted by
FireSprite 
This is exactly my experience too Liz. Every discovery brings me closer to the next, stronger in my own confidence & more aware of the things I thought I knew about myself but didn't.
I had a big AHA moment (much like outonalimb described) that set the ball rolling into motion for me. Suddenly I just felt empowered & like some of the fog had cleared from my vision. I realized that all along I had been buying what he was selling me even though I knew it was crap, & that made me an active participant in this struggle. That day I stood up for ME & pushed back in ways that I hadn't been doing in a long, long time. Once I hit that milestone, I couldn't go back to seeing things the way I had been even if I wanted to. I had to keep marching forward.
You are SO right about how much Power there is in staying calm..... What a great post Liz!
Yes, I totally understand this! I can't believe how easy it was to just hang up the phone, why didn't I ever do that sooner??? And, yes, the buying what they are selling thing: I can't tell you how many times I bought it all; hook, line, and sinker and then wound up being sunk myself. It's the eternal optimist in me. I am trying to be more realistic. I still have hope that our marriage can work, but I have to put myself first. If he doesn't want sobriety or a peaceful serene life, than that's on him. I am no longer afraid of being alone in the future because I have so much support in real life through program and church, etc that it's really opened up my world.
Thanks for the support here, too!!