Welcome back, Jazz.
I went a long time trying to quit because I sort of "wanted" to quit, but not because I "needed" to quit. After all, I wasn't an alcoholic who had to quit. This kept me caught up in the loop of quitting and relapse because my committment wasn't really there. As long as I didn't need to quit, it was too easy to talk myself back into drinking.
I now know I needed to quit. I'm an alcoholic. Drinking is off the table. Forever. That mindset has helped me greatly.