Yes. Yes, those are enabling behaviors. I'be been where you're at. You're trying to take care of everyone else's needs and exhausting yourself in the process.
And I would venture to guess that you're somewhat hesitant to label your husband "an alcoholic"? Because he isn't as bad as some alcoholics. You may even be a little proud of how he's able to hold and do a job despite drinking?
That's what I was like. I was a very well-trained little wife who lied for him when he needed to and kept the children from bothering him. I taught them to walk on eggshells so as not to anger him.
We were married for 20 years. He was brilliant, perhaps the most intelligent person I've ever met, when we married. I was the well-trained wife until his descent into hell turned abusive. And when I wasn't anymore, it got ugly.
But the worst fallout is for the children. I currently have three full-time jobs: the one I get paid for and the two where I run children to therapists and inpatient treatment and psychiatrists to heal their wounds from the alcoholic marriage that was their childhood.
My story is just my story. I know recovering alcoholics who got off the booze mobile and are now loving, caring people. Some of them are here on this forum.
Just know that you always have an absolute right to remove yourself and your children from an unhealthy situation, should you want to. You have no responsibility for the choices your husband makes. But you do have a responsibility for your children. And for yourself, your health, and your happiness.
Where you are now sucks. Big hugs. And hang around. This place saved my sanity, and keeps on doing so.