I can't say that I have any experience with your situation, which is what I try to rely on when talking to someone. I just wanted to post to say that I do know what it's like to be sick and tired of being sick and tired, and there is a way out. Others have done it! Keep your head up and keep chugging along, the right person will appear in your path as long as you keep an open mind and have some willingness to try something that another did to keep them sober and moving down the right path
I'd read through some of the postings on here, there are some remarkable stories about people climbing up out of the pit.
Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Who knows, you might find someone who has your story and has found a way to put the bottle down and find a more rewarding and happier life
Hope this helps