Hi...
I have been trying to quit so many times. I do very well for days, weeks, until something happens...Something goes wrong at work or have an argument with somebody. Every since I was 14 years old I have been dealing with the negative feelings by drinking them away...Now after 20 years it's hard to find another way to cope...
I don't have any control once I start. After two drinks it's shots after shots after shots...Next morning I wake up and I need to take a drink because my withdrawals are so bad...It is very hard to stop. I went to AA once but it was way too emotional to me. I feel like I need to get myself together before I'm able to go there..
I found this site today and I'm very happy that there is a place where I feel like I'm not alone. All my friends drink but they don't see anything wrong with it...I have found myself in hotel rooms few times, jail once and I know that this is all getting worse. I really need to do stop being stupid but after failing so many times it's hard to believe in myself anymore...
I don't want to be so negative but I'm in a very dark place now and I'm thankful that there is support like this site.
I wish everybody strenght, there is a way to beat this