I think the point where I started to actively work towards my recovery (rather than trying to 'help' AXH with his) was well after I'd left him. He had gone to a 30 day rehab out of state and just gotten back. We'd met for lunch and I'd asked what he thought about DS, about us, about the program. His response to the questions about the program was: Every one keeps telling me I was sick, but I don't see it.
I immediately thought: Sh-t. I don't want to deal with this anymore. And as he kept talking about how it was the hard stuff, never the beer, I realized: I don't have to.