wanttobehealthy

xAH spent Sunday with our girls ages 5 and 7 at our house. His residence is not somewhere I feel the girls are safe so when it works (ie: when he shows as scheduled) he spends a day here and there on a weekend at the house we still own together that I live in with the girls.

Anyway, I returned late afternoon Sunday (earlier than planned) to xAH screaming at D7. He was helping her with the end of a project for school that we'd worked on all week and he was ranting that that she and I were both lazy for putting off a school project until the end of school vacation. When he saw me he turned the rant at me and said I was making the project too complicate and controlling how D7 did it and didn't need to be so perfectionistic etc... The reality is that D7 designed it all herself and did it all herself just as she was supposed to but I didn't defend myself to AH. I simply said I would take over and asked if he would leave. I had come back early bc he asked me to so I figured he'd gladly go. That didn't happen.

Long story short he kept ranting and I took the girls into the yard and just didn't talk to xAH at all other than to tell him to leave. But he followed us around ranting that I had a whole week of vacation to do the project, "what kind of irresponsible mother waits to the end to start a project", that the design of it sucked bc my "engineering/math skills were sub par at best" (it was a balance and geometry project) and that D7 "gets her infuriating idiocy with math" from my side of the family... All of this said in front of the girls. D7 who already is struggling a TON with Math and has been tested for learning disabilities heard this all.

I went to my car, got the phone and called the police at this point after telling him to leave. The dispatcher of course only cared about whether he had hit me. When I said no she said that when an officer was free she'd request one come by for a disturbance of the peace visit but that it wasn't a domestic issue. Yup. That's my town's police for you.

So I hung up and went to the yard to get the girls and planned to leave. I called them to me and xAH said I couldn't take them. I told him I WAS taking them with me or he could choose to leave. But that one of those things was going to happen. The girls were telling him to leave and I tried to tell them to stop bc I knew things would get worse.

His response? Called the girls over, said he was leaving, gave them hugs, D5 told him she wanted him to go away and follow the family rules (rules that the girls and I made together recently that have to do with respect). He leaned down at that point and told them in a sweet sick voice "Mommy is a f***ing b*tch and you are going to be just like her if you stay with her-- who wants to come with me?". They both shouted at him to not call us all names and clearly did not want to go with him.

I got between he and the girls and implored him to just leave and not hurt the girls just to hurt me. He looked at me, clenched his fist and said "you'd better shut the hell up and it's too bad this isn't the 1950's or 1960's because I'd make you shut up". Then he added, "Married the wrong girl in the wrong decade". Then he left.

I called the police back and relayed the threat he made and eventually an officer came, I gave my "side", he took notes I guess (seemed to) and said there was nothing illegal or domestic violence-ish that xAH did and he couldn't charge him with anything and suggested that I try to get along with him so the kids aren't dragged into "our" fights.

That's how Sunday ended.