I've gotta say, I think you have hit a bottom of sorts, otherwise you wouldn't be looking to sobriety as a solution. I don't know how you drank and\or used, but for me, I had turned into a slave. I was constantly running to my master, spending money I didn't have on my next fix, running tabs with this last time, and all for what? A few hours of chemical serenity that was destroying me in the long run.
A bottom doesn't have to be the typical dumpster variety, full of physical signs. This is a mental, emotional, spiritual and physical disease. Any one of those components going neglected or being abused can constitute a bottom, in my opinion. It was definitely that way for me. I've heard many a time from oldtimers that our story must have depth and weight (doctors opinion, BB) and that it's what we know, not what we think, that helps us stay sober. I've also heard that the best way to find a solution to my issue is to find someone who was right where I was at and talk to them, openly and honestly.
Hope this helps, and just know that it IS possible to not drink or use, even when you want to! Also know that going back after a period usually ends up worse then before, I know from personal experience. My last sobriety date was 4\21\12. I lasted six months, the last bit being on personal willpower. I don't know about you, but I can't do this alone, by any means. Asking for help is the greatest gift I've ever been given.