Caszee,
I am also very sorry to hear about your youngest. This is my first post. When I read your post I could not believe your story as your story is my story in regards to drinking wine. My health is also starting to fail (Liver enzymes are above normal).
I am up to 2+ bottles a night and do exactly what you do..3 or 4 (sometimes 5 or 6) days on, one day off. Two days is hard to do (Today is day 2!). Just hoping to make it through today. I haven't completed 3 days off in probably 3-4 years.
I usually wait until my wife goes to bed but also don't have a problem "starting" with a glass of wine at dinner (just not every night since my wife would think I have a problem...hiding).
I also cannot socially drink...all or nothing here too.
I will need some help to get through this. Let's do this together.
TTB