Dear SR, I agree with with these folks. It is so true that all of the activities you love while drinking will eventually become horrible. That is what happened to me, finally, and it is great that it happened. I was a happy hour, hang with the guys, have friends over, BBQ guy, and loved it. Until I started to hate it. Drinking started to become misery. Something else also changed, the happy drunk became the unpredictable and often times, psycho drunk. I was Scarface in the 'You need people like me, so you can point your bleeping finger and say he's da bad guy!' scene. Which is dangerous when you don't have a bodyguard.
I'd clean up for a couple of weeks and be like, why would I choose to live in so much pain? And waking up in the mornings not sure if I could show my face in the city I live. That is incredibly nerve wracking. Drinking off the guilt of the night before. Even after it got very unpleasant to drink it took me years of trying to make it pleasant again and NEVER succeeding. -You realize something is up. It is the first step. It never, ever, gets better. It gets worse.