glad yer here and se alcohol is the problem.
how to help you accept it....when i got into recovery i had no problem admitting i was powerless over alcohol. that was simple, but for some reason accepting did something to me, something very positive: i was ok with being powrless and made the work to not drink and the work to stay sobr easier. i really dont know what it was that got me to the point. it coud have been that i realized there was nothing wrong with being powerless when i started doing something about it. i also had to want to stop drinking.
to get there, i had to get to the point when the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality.desperation. i wanted to stop drinking and was willing to go to any lengths to do it.
when i was drinking, i camped, fished, went to fotball games....heck, there wasnt anything i did unless it involved alcohol!! in recovery i have done those and countless other things, all without alcohol and with others that dont drink. i cant believe what i missed out on!!!
in all honesty, i dont think you love to drink. i think you hate it already.i think yer foolin yerself.
maybe explain why you feel you love to drink,eh? it would help us help you.