Thanks I know you're right and it seems so simple I don't know why I am complicating it so much, I think deep down it probably has something to do with not knowing how to truely admit it to myself and feeling sure about my decision. I am ultimately quite ashamed that I have had to quit and all the things I have done but pretending it was 'part of the fun' was a way of masking it and justifying it for so many years.
Now I have nowhere to hide. Ugh, scary and uncomfortable!!