It has been a while since I've been on SR and based on my title, I'm sure it is obvious what I've been doing with most of my free time - yep, drinking. I've been trying to convince myself that I can drink in moderation and that I do not have a problem - but I'm just lying to myself. Yesterday I started drinking around 2pm and didn't let up until I passed out around 10pm and this is after drinking probably 7-8 beers Friday night and getting up at 5am to go to work on Sat. Woke up feeling like crap this morning and feel like I'm running on empty today. Not how I wanted to spend a Sunday
When I first came to SR, I was determined to kick the habit. I posted up, signed on multiple times a day, even went to a couple of AA meetings, but I found those somewhat depressing. I felt like I didn't belong in those meetings b/c of all the talk about God and how he is helping everyone through their struggle. I am an atheist and didn't want to sit there and lie to myself or to a group of people about believing in something that I don't. I would appreciate any feedback people have for me that have been/are in a similar situation.
I'm going to make a doctor's appt. this week and go talk to him about my drinking and also about hopefully getting help again with ADD (I had it really bad as a child and still struggle with it at 30). I'm tired of this viscous cycle and I feel like alcohol controls almost everything I do. My only fear is, once it is in my medical history that I've been to see a Dr. about alcoholism, won't that affect things down the road like getting approved for life insurance, etc.??
I appreciate any help/support I can get.