glad to be readin yer honesty. honesty will help ya greatly. it may ya drank because you havent admitted the extent of your problem to yourself.
if i were to have had alcohol around me early in recovery. there was a igh probability that i would drink. i had the craving, compulsion, and obsession.
remembering the wonderful feeling was something i did at one time. i wouldnt rememebr all the terrible things. when i look back on my drinking, yes, there were some good times, but there were 1000 bad times for every good time.
if you want to see what AA is about, doa google search for "big book online."
AA didnt just save my life. it took me from just existing and gave me a life i never imagined could be possible, one where the alcohol problem has been removed, no more feeling useless, i can look the wrld in the eye, and best of all, i can lok right at myself in the mirror and like who i see. no more gloom,dispair, and misery!!!