Have you considered a medical detox? Get the alcohol out of you and start fresh. Would you consider AA or one of the other recovery programs out there?
Come here and post and read when you want to drink. Post and read til the urge goes away.
I think the desire to be sober might be stronger if you'd lost something important to you. You said your lady is willing to work with you on getting sober. Do you think she'll still be interested if all you do is still drink? Sounds like you're getting close to rock bottom. I hope you don't have to hit it.
